My birthday was last Monday. I turned 31. And I got to thinking about where I expected my life to be at 31 and where my life really is.
For starters, I didn’t think my arms would look so big in any pictures. But if you look slightly below the shoulder, I think you can see some definition. That’s CrossFit for you. Regardless, someone should have told me to move that chair.
But that’s besides the point.
Or maybe it’s not. I used to say I’d never join a gym and I’d sweat on a tennis court. Needless to say, I do CrossFit. While it’s not a gym, per se, it’s definitely not a tennis court. (You can read more about how I got into CrossFit here.)
I thought for sure I’d be married by now. Perhaps a high school sweetheart. Then I thought a college sweetheart because isn’t there where everybody meets their future spouses? When I barely had a boyfriend in college, that changed. I thought for sure living in NYC for grad school I’d meet him. And that that life would be just like Sex and the City. I lived on the Upper West Side. I had a friend on the Upper East Side. I had friends on Long Island who would take the train in and we could go out for dinner and drinks and brunch and flirt and meet our future husbands. I had a boyfriend throughout grad school but learned about everything the City offered after I left it. I never expected dating to be so difficult.
So I thought I’d be married by now and I’m not. Along with that marriage I sometimes thought about kids. If I was married by 25, I’d probably have at least one by 31. Or two. Or maybe there wouldn’t be any kids. When I was in high school I was adamant I wouldn’t have any as I didn’t want to screw them up the way I thought my mother screwed me up.
No husband. No kids. What about work? Ever since I was 3 years old, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. At first, elementary school and I’d make up my own version of the state exams (CTBS back then, before this Common Core stuff). As I got older, high school math. My undergrad years were a detour. My Masters degree is in secondary mathematics education, aka middle school and high school math (grades 7 – 12). I figured by now I’d for sure have my own classroom, a tenured teacher, teaching students just like me. You know, the kind who want to learn and do their math homework first because it’s the fun homework because math. My first year after grad school I worked as a permanent substitute at a middle school because I couldn’t find a job as a math teacher. Luckily, the assistant principal liked me and made sure I covered the math teachers when they were out. My second year I worked at a high school where I taught an SAT prep class, algebra, and a senior elective of project-based real world mathematics applications (ugh, I sound like my resume). Needless to say, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. My students were nothing like the student I was, wanting to learn and absorb all she could about real numbers, equations, and polynomials.
So life isn’t what I thought it would be by now. Is it ever?
Dear Fitters, tell me…are you where you thought you’d be? How is your life different from what you anticipated by now?
Caveat – I may have been drinking before and during the writing of this post. Tequila makes the hardest truths easier to admit.